I remember being modestly entertained by the first movie, even as reviews were complaining about how bad it was. I don’t remember anything about that movie, and I don’t think I’ll remember much about this one. In spite of that, I actually enjoyed this. It held my attention fairly well.
There’s an absurdity to the movie, but it’s actually something that I like. It plays very much like a cartoon aimed at kids. The first line of the movie is an absurdly expositional one - “Hustle up, guys. You’ve got to get that defector and get the hell out of there. No delays.” A well-written movie, aimed at adults, would not use a line like that. Shortly after that line, Roadblock puts on some specialized gloves that allow him to heat-cut his way through a chain-link fence. This item is just… ridiculous. First, wouldn’t it burn up his hands? Even if it’s well-protected, handling metal that’s been heated that much is going to cause some problems. How is this method better than just using some clippers? The fact that this item exists, and is shown so prominently at this point in the movie establishes a certain tone. This movie is ridiculous, and it knows it.
The core of the plot - Cobra replacing the president and instituting a plan that results in the destruction of all nuclear arms - is pretty fun. I like the idea of it, and it plays right for kids who like the show.
That might be the problem with this movie and the first. I think the audiences out there don’t know what they want, and the property hasn’t grown up since the 80s. The result is that the core audience for this movie wants something that doesn’t insult their intelligence, but still makes them feel like a kid in the 80s. Marvel has accomplished this by balancing their movies carefully. But here, they managed to make a movie that is written with kids in mind, but has violence for the adults, rather than the other way around.
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