12 - The Palm Beach Story

    An unhappily married woman leaves for Palm Beach, hoping to find a rich man to marry, so she can pass some of the money on to her current husband.  Her husband follows.
    AV Club reviewed the recent Criterion release of this, and I generally like screwball comedies, so I thought I’d give it a try.
    It’s good, but it’s not… it’s not Some Like It Hot good.  The first half of the movie feels like it’s trying too hard to be wacky, using silly characters like the Wienie King.  The relationship between the two leads is never a good one, which is my primary problem with the movie.  I was never able to identify with the male lead.  I didn’t care much for the female lead either.  Claudette Colbert was a bankable leading lady, and considered to be an attractive woman.  I didn’t find her attractive (although that may have been the hairstyle) and I didn’t care for her performance especially.  She did fine with the material she was given, but that material didn’t give her an opportunity to really shine.  I still didn’t get a strong sense of character from her - or motivation.  This is the biggest problem with the movie.  The premise is completely ridiculous.  A comedic situation doesn’t start from an outlandish idea.  The craziness happens in escalations, or at least it seems like a reasonable course of action.  Here, she jumps straight into the strangest idea, something no one would ever think of.  And no one seems to question it.
    The male lead is… lumpy.  It’s hard to find the right word for it.  The character doesn’t seem to have any real redeeming traits.  He chases the girl, but that seems to be it.  Does it make him a good person?  Since he’s so dislikable most of the time, it doesn’t seem to matter.
    Luckily, the second half of the movie improves drastically, thanks to Rudy Vallee appearing.  His character is much more charming, and so well defined that it’s suddenly clear where the movie is going.  He gets all sorts of good lines.
    The ending is a sticking point for many people.  It comes out of nowhere, and it implies that just about everyone in the movie is just as shallow as possible.
    Perhaps I was spoiled by being such a fan of Some Like It Hot.  I compare all of my screwball comedies to what is probably one of the best comedies of all time, and it’s hard to say that anything similar can compare.

11 - An Evening in the Zone

    This is a little different - it’s not quite a movie, but it seemed to be on the cusp of being one.  This is a DVD collection of three TV screenplays of Rod Serling’s, done before he found his success with The Twilight Zone.
    First, Nightmare at Ground Zero.  A man who creates mannequins is tasked with creating a family to decorate a house being demolished in a nuclear test.  His henpecking wife bothers him enough that he swaps her with one of the mannequins.
        This is unusually dark for Serling.  He tended to have more of a focus on moral and philosophical issues.  This seems more like a Tales From the Crypt predecessor than his work.  Still, it’s actually pretty enjoyable, mostly because of the interesting mannequin photography.
    Second, The Arena.  This deals with a senator whose father was also a senator.  He spends most of his efforts trying to argue with and discredit a rival of his fathers.  Eventually, he’s offered the opportunity, when he discovers that the rival was once a member of a poorly-regarded organization.  This seems more like classic Serling.  It’s still padded, and it moves slowly until we get to the meat of the story, but there’s something pleasant about it.
    And last, A Town Has Turned to Dust.  A small town lynches a young Mexican boy.  The Mexican population turns against the storeowner that led the mob.  This is an utterly predictable story, but it captures most of Serling’s style and interests.  His writing is ridiculous by modern standards.  There’s hardly enough plot to justify the 83-minute running time… but he manages to accomplish it by throwing all of the backstory you could possibly want, and more.
    But what makes this last story more watchable is the format.  It was broadcast on Playhouse 90, which started off as a live-to-broadcast anthology series.  By the time this episode came along, it seems to have been shot almost the same way, but committed to tape before broadcast.  The result is interesting.  Limited sets, static camera work, a pretty blank background… but it still retains a certain immediacy.  You know that these people are learning their lines and are putting on the best show they can.
    Which brings me to the other high point - William Shatner is actually really good in this.  He doesn’t engage in any of his trademark delivery.  He’s a sleazy, bad guy.  He’s drunk half of the movie.  It’s much more interesting than I expected.

10 - The Interview

    A TV personality and his producer are set up with an opportunity to interview Kim Jong Un, and the CIA takes the opportunity to try to get them to assassinate him.
    It’s been a pretty big deal, and I’ve put off watching it since it just didn’t seem like a very funny premise.  Now that I’ve seen it…
    It’s honestly not that great.  For a comedy, it’s kind of a low-to-middle ground affair.  There are a few good gags, but most of it is low-hanging fruit.  If not for the whole Sony hacking thing and the terroristic threats, this movie would have probably been in theaters for about two weeks, maybe three, and it would have been forgotten about.
    It’s a shame, because a premise like this should have opened the door to some masterful political satire.  There are hints of these ideas sprinkled, but it’s hard to tell how intentional they were.  Some very basic points are made about North Korea’s government lying to them.  This is balanced with some points about how shallow the US media is, and at at least one point, pointing out that our TV pundits are unaware of our own country.
    The problem is that this movie starts off handling Kim Jong Un in a likable, if comic, manner.  It would be perfectly fine if he were just humanized, and it was more of a bumbling error that led to his people revolting against him.  Instead, he turns out to be exactly the comic-book villain we expected he would be.  This is unsatisfying, and it makes the last act seem cheap.
    There are plenty of legitimate things to complain about regarding North Korea.  It’s strange that those complaints take a back seat to dressing up their figurehead as the root of all evil.  It takes some of the strength out of what could have been a much more on-point story.
    Also, the finger-biting bits were really weird, and just distracted from what could have been a stronger climax.

9 - Nick Fury: Agent of Shield

    After Baron Von Strucker’s corpse is stolen by Hydra, Fury is pulled out of retirement to foil a plot.
    I’ve been reading a fair amount of Captain America comics, and I had looked up Strucker on Wikipedia.  There, I saw that Strucker had been portrayed in this movie, which I had no idea existed.  This is remarkable.  It was straight to TV, released in May of 1998.  While Blade is usually credited with kicking off Marvel’s movie success, Blade was released theatrically in August.  Even more amazing is that both of these movies were written by David S. Goyer, who went on to write Batman Begins, the story for Dark Knight, Ghost Rider, and strangely, Dark City.
    This movie continues the tradition of superhero movies that started back with the 80s Captain America movie.  It’s disappointing for the fans of the subject.  But it’s actually a bridge between that point, and the fan service and budget needed to safely realize the subject matter.  There are supporting characters - Dugan, Viper, Strucker, Arnim Zola.  We get to see the Helicarrier.  Life Model Decoys!  But the weakness is that the story focuses on pleasing the cheap action flick fans, but doesn’t have the budget to do that.
    The plot has to do with Hydra wanting to release a biological weapon in New York.  Fury has to track down the Hydra headquarters while another group has to find where the weapon is being transported into NY from.
    It’s deeply flawed, but it hits all of the expected beats, so it’s strangely satisfying, even as it struggles to be interesting.  The highlight of the movie comes near the end, as the action gets a little more satisfying, even though the pacing is still very slow.
    I’m amazed this movie exists, and I’m surprised it isn’t more widely known.  It isn’t a high point for Marvel, but it’s probably more watchable than the 80s Captain America movie.
    And I love the tagline “The Last Superhero!”

8 - Rosemary's Baby

    A couple moves into a new apartment, and a strange things start happening, following through Rosemary’s pregnancy.
    I’ve never been a big fan of Polanski’s work.  I like the ideas in his movies more than the execution.  I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of the idea in this movie either.  I wonder if it was just much more influential for the time.  Now, it seems tame and pretty slow.
    It does build to a pretty decent payoff, in a climactic scene that’s both surreal and kind of pleasant, at least in how upfront it is.
    But the slowness of the rest of the movie seems quaint by modern standards.  In order for the plot to be stretched out to fill two hours plus, Rosemary is mostly an idiot.  She’s absurdly trusting of people she’s otherwise suspicious of.  Her outrage at spousal rape seems to be short-lived, amounting to about a line or two of annoyance.
    Through most of the story, she’s supposed to have a strained relationship with her husband.  And she does.  But this never seems to bother her much.
    Maybe the problem is just that Rosemary isn’t a very resourceful lady.  Maybe this was more acceptable back in the 60s, but now, she just seems like more of a caricature.
    This isn’t to say that the movie is bad.  I prefer it to most of the other Polanski movies I’ve seen.  I still don’t think I would bother watching it again, but for historical horror purposes, it seems worthwhile.

7 - The Lair of the White Worm

    Based on a Bram Stoker novel, a man unearths the skull of a peculiar creature, and a serpent/vampiric woman tries to please her worm deity by sacrificing locals.
    I’ve seen this movie recommended to horror fans several times.  The box art never seemed that interesting.  The plot is peculiar, and it’s hard to explain the tone of it.  But it was interesting enough to hold my attention, and there were a handful of notable sequences.  But even with that, it remains a strange movie that would only appeal to a narrow audience.
    I was impressed with how well the story is set up.  A guy is excavating a patch of ground.  He finds a large, strange skull.  His discussion with a girl gives plenty of clues, but it doesn’t sound like terrible exposition.  This leads to a town party, where a band plays a song that gives all of the backstory we need.  For a setup as strange as this story requires, it was handled very well.
    The villainess is a bit campy, hanging around in underwear most of the time, but she’s suitably evil.
    The really incredible part of the movie is the trippy psychedelic sequences.  It’s hard to describe these.  They mix religious iconography with sexuality, violence, snakes.  There are colors, strangely pieced-together elements… they’re remarkable.  I wouldn’t be as surprised if this type of experimentation was going on during the 60s or 70s, but this movie is from 1988!
    The story is a little thin, but it seems to have a variety of similarities to Dracula, which should be expected.
    I think where the story goes wrong is that the premise isn’t especially compelling to most people.  Some people are scared of snakes, but they probably have a lower phobic population than spiders or… public speaking.  The titular white worm only makes a complete appearance near the end, and it’s hard to feel like it’s a bad thing.  As far as we can tell, it has no consciousness, so it’s hard to blame it for the actions of the followers.

6 - The Jerk Theory

    A teen gets lots of girls by acting like a jerk, until a girl resists his charms, and he has to be himself.
    Netflix has a puzzling summary for this movie.  “An aspiring recording artist is burned by a bad relationship experience and decides to ditch his nice-guy image and be a jerk”
    This is a very strange description, since it seems to be what happens before the movie begins.  As I watched this, I sank into more and more confusion about who the audience for this movie is.  The premise sounds like a teen romance movie.  But the humor is strangely sophomoric, and yet still fairly raunchy.  But it never gets too raunchy: this is a PG-13 movie.
    The idea that I came to was that this is intended to be a movie that bridges the innocence of the Disney projects like Camp Rock into the teen sex comedies of American Pie.
    The cast is mostly pretty bad, except for two people who shine in supporting parts - Danny Bonaduce has a nice cameo, and Tom Arnold does everything he can with the material he’s given.  This leads me to the next problem.  It’s a comedy, and I can tell that there’s some material here that’s funny, but the execution is boring.  It’s not bad - it’s only boring.  The result is that I didn’t feel like it was unfunny, I just felt like no one was making an effort.
    The lead is one of the most peculiar characters I’ve seen, since he has a clear arc, but he’s actually less likable at the end.  He starts the movie as a jerk, seducing girls for the fun of it.  He seems to be having a good time.  Then he gets into a relationship where he’s challenged to be himself.  Suddenly, he’s boring.  He doesn’t have a personality any more!  And his expressions and behavior implies that he’s actually unhappy living like this.
    The big event that drives a wedge between the couple involves him complaining to her that they haven’t had sex.  He eventually figures out that he shouldn’t do that, but I didn’t feel like I understood his decision to begin with.  Doesn’t that just send the message that underneath his jerk exterior is… another jerk?
    There’s a subplot about his band looking to get signed.  Some agent is in the audience at two shows.  After the first one, he tells them that he wants to see some more variety in their songs, something more soulful - a love song.  At the second show, they play an angry song.  The agent turns them down.
    Then, at the prom (I guess it’s the prom.  I already forget.) the band plays his new love song in his grand gesture to win the girl back.
    And for some strange reason, the agent is there.

    That was the one time that I laughed during the movie.

5 - The Secret Village

    A young journalist investigates a small town where there are outbreaks of ergot poisoning happening often.
    This was mentioned on a list of horror movies on Netflix as being an enjoyable bad movie.  That’s an acceptable description, but I don’t know how much I’d say it’s enjoyable.  It’s enjoyable in a short term way, but the longer the movie goes, it gets boring.  A really enjoyable bad movie regularly finds new ways to surprise you.
    The story is an okay sort of thing.  You see the ending coming about half an hour into the movie.  It doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, but because of the ending, you can’t really tell if your complaints are valid.
    Regardless, there are some very funny things.  The relationship between the two leads is really funny, because they seem like pleasant strangers, then they switch over to being romantically inclined.  No idea why.  There are black-robed people hanging out outside their house, spying on them in the woods… but they don’t do anything.
    At one point, the director starts playing with some really strange editing, where the same character is in more than one location at once.  The effect is unintentionally hilarious.
    The lead has a job as a waitress at a small restaurant.  Somehow, when something interesting happens, she’s able to just walk off the job.
    The music is amateurish, especially early on.  I was able to tune it out later, but it’s mostly perfunctory synth string stabs or swells.  There was one instance, which I can’t locate, but I know it’s there, where the dramatic music cue plays at the start of the shot after it was supposed to happen.
    Occasionally, shots are slightly slowed down for dramatic effect.  It’s tacky.
    One of the actors has a line - “You can’t escape.”  He pronounces it “ex-cape”
    The lead calls someone.  Instead of hearing the phone ring, we actually hear the other person’s ring tone.  This is hilarious.  Did they not know how telephones work?

    I’ll leave you with this strange, slightly circular exchange that happens around 44:30.
    Creepy guy comes into the restaurant and approaches the waitress, Rachel
    Guy: I’m obviously not here to order a meal.  You and I need to speak privately.
    Rachel: What do you want?
    Guy: I think you know what I’m referring to.
    Rachel: (looks at him nervously.
    Guy: You and I need to speak privately.
    Rachel: About what?

    There’s also one really odd thing… the main character’s bedroom is shown, but when she’s sleeping, she’s in a completely different room and bed.

     And I've got to say - this is one of the most hilarious posters I've seen.  Especially the laudatory quote.

4 - Annabelle

    A doll functions as a vessel that a satan-worshipper uses to acquire a soul - of a newborn daughter.
    I liked The Conjuring.  I liked it enough that I own it.  In fact, I’ve been a big fan of this wave of modern horror movies.  Insidious… Sinister… I think that horror has hit a new era, and I think this has a lot to offer.
    But I didn’t care for this.  And my problem boils down to a single issue.
    Sound design.

    I’ll come back to that, but first, let me cover some of the stuff I did like.
    One of the things I really liked about The Conjuring was the period-specific feel.  It felt authentic.  This movie takes place about a year prior to The Conjuring, but most of that look seems to be gone.  It might be because it takes place in a more urban area, but somehow, that charm is weaker than it should be.  But that’s still a plus.
    The direction is still good quality.  I’ve been really pleased with this generation of horror’s ability to frame shots effectively, and to toy with audience expectations.  They do beautiful work with color, especially in well-lit sequences.  (I wonder if this is a side effect of modern digital cameras.  I’ve felt like most modern movies are much more vibrant.)
    The story is a little more lackluster than the other movies.  One of the things I loved about Insidious was that it set up a series of horror tropes, then subverted them.  It pushed the story everywhere you don’t expect it to.  This one just feels like more of a by-the-numbers effort.

    But the sound design.  I’m getting really tired of this.

    Horror movies have liked to play up sound-enforced jump scares.  I don’t mind these on rare occasions, but this has gotten out of hand.  The weakest element of Sinister was the jump scare inserted for no good reason.
    One of the creepiest moments of The Conjuring was a long tracking shot that had a ghost arrive as the camera moved.  The ghost is far in the background, out of focus, and (to my recollection) there was no music cue to go with it.
    I guess that my preference is that a horror movie shouldn’t demand attention by being big and loud.  It should demand attention by being spooky, and requiring attention to know what to be scared about.

    It isn’t just these auditory jump scares… it’s the massive dynamic range.  Chunks of the dialogue is brought down to a whisper, just so the jumps can be bigger.  That’s ridiculous.  In order to be scared, I need to understand what the people are saying.  If I can’t do that, the scares aren’t scary - they’re just annoying.

    I wonder if I sound like some old codger complaining about how everything sucks nowadays.
    Nah.  Last year, I praised Raze.  I liked comic book movies, and sophomoric buddy comedies.  If anything, I’m a bigger fan of modern movies than I am of classics.

3 - The Double

    A shy, reserved office worker struggles with his existence, only to find that an exact double of him starts working at the same business, except his double is confident and popular.
    This is exactly the sort of story I should really like.  I’m a huge fan of the surreal concept of a person having duplicates.  But somehow, this story just wasn’t as palatable as I expected it to be.
    It’s based on a novel by Dostoyevsky, so I suppose I shouldn’t expect it to be especially funny or lighthearted.  There’s a charm to the bleakness that sets in, especially near the beginning, as we start to experience the bureaucracy that the main character lives in.  I don’t know what I expected though.  Once the duplicate arrives, there’s a kind of fun sequence where the pair work together, eventually leading to the pair turning against each other.  And the movie does have a happier ending than the novel, which makes sense.  But still…
    I guess it’s just hard to get past the main character never having anything really go his way.

    This is the directorial debut for Richard Ayoade, it’s pretty solidly done.  It feels like it’s aimed a little too squarely at the art-house crowd, which is something that has been bothering me.  I think I actually like my direction to be interesting, but easy to follow.  There’s more confusing work going on here, and it’s hard to feel like I’m seeing real directorial skill rather than just an effort to show how creative he can be.
    It’s also a pleasure to see Jesse Eisenberg playing Simon James and James Simon.  He makes both characters distinct in their behavior and mannerisms.
    I may have just found the dehumanizing elements of the story too upsetting.  Isn’t that strange?

2 - Time Lapse

    Three roommates find that a deceased neighbor created a device that takes Polaroid photos of a day into the future.  They start using the device for their own purposes.
    I’m reluctant to say that this is an original story, since I’ve seen the same story told before.  There are at least two Twilight Zone episodes that cover the same ground (A Most Unusual Camera, What’s in the Box) and many other stories using the same premise.  Even as I’ve seen this story so many times, it always feels new and original.  It always feels clever.  I wonder why that is.  It must be a side effect of high-concept stories.
    There are logical problems, particularly with a paradox presented by one of the characters and his primary motivation using the camera.  He sees his paintings in the pictures, then he no longer has to deal with artist’s block, since he knows what to paint.
    Things are wound together pretty well, although it actually moves too fast.  It’s rare that this happens, but I would have liked to see a longer sequence of them sitting back and enjoying the device.  Usually there’s a longer “good times” sequence before complications start to set in.

    The strangest thing that happened as I watched this is that I kept on thinking of Shallow Grave.  It’s a similar story, at least since it has a bunch of roommates who are bonded by their crime, all gradually turning on each other after paranoia sets in.

    There’s one main problem, at least to my ear.  There’s an assumption that the characters make very early on - that they have to make sure that the prediction made in the photo comes to pass.  I understand how the script tried to make their belief make sense, but it seemed like such a strange leap that I couldn’t buy it.
    Still, a good watch, even if I felt like it missed out on being everything it could be.

1 - Whiplash

    An aspiring drummer at a prestigious music school deals with an adversarial band director.
    It’s hard to sort through my feelings about this movie.
    I worked at Berklee, which has less of a pure focus on jazz.  The students were incredibly skilled and disciplined.  But I had a better sense that they had a feeling of joy when they played.
    There’s a phase that most musicians go through, a certain category of player that learns to focus on technical prowess as a way of furthering their fascination with music.  It’s a drive not just to excel, but to actually be regarded as “the best.”  At least this idea is mentioned, albeit in passing, in this movie.  Someone points out that grading these band performances is a subjective thing, which the lead argues against.
    We see a smattering of the joy that music brings, but it’s very small.  Most of the joy in this movie comes from the lead beating his competition, driving himself further.
    The teacher is brutal.  He’s cruel, dehumanizing, and perpetually unhappy.  It’s actually funny when he casually inserts “have a good time” into his pre-show address to the band.  While we spend most of this movie learning to hate him, there’s always this inkling that he’s just doing this to push his students.  He has one scene where he acts like a normal person, and he states just this: he pushes his students as far as possible in hopes of creating another jazz great.
    I guess I just don’t see the point of his mission.  It makes no sense when you view music as something that is good simply because it is.  Would it be acceptable to persuade Sid Vicious not to play simply because he would never be Mozart?  It’s ridiculous.  It’s an annoyance that the movie never seems to address this problem.

    I grew up with classical music all around me.  My mom is surprisingly elitist about classical music.  She hates jazz.  She has a lot of contempt for most pop music.  I think this approach to music takes most of the fun out of it.  If you can’t find something to enjoy in any piece of music, you’re missing out.  It’s shortsighted.  I think this is the hallmark of a person who has focused too narrowly.  When their enjoyment requires the music be in a particular style, a particular pace, or “interesting” enough… this just means they’re bored with music.

    I’m not sure what I think of this movie.  It might change over time.

2014 in review

BEST
Ishtar was remarkably good.


I encourage just about everyone to watch Mortified Nation.  It manages to capture the excitement of a live cringe reading.  It's well-directed, and it doesn't slow down.  A big contrast to the Improv Everywhere documentary I watched.

I was impressed with Phone Booth.  Mostly a single location, and it keeps things going strong for the whole thing.

I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining Raze was.  For a budget semi-exploitation movie, it's good.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier
    To be honest, I didn’t feel like the plot was quite as strong as some of the reviews have made it out to be, but it remains very fun, and each time I look at it, I’m impressed with the variations in the action, the score is really cool, and it’s a comfortably fun watch.

Last Night    This has stuck in my mind.  As the world comes to an end, there is a variety of reactions, but none of them are as anarchic as you would expect.  The slow ending of the world is somehow more beautiful, and more introspective than a violent ending.

Guardians of the Galaxy    It’s hard to ignore the success that Guardians had.  It’s good.  It’s good in a way that pleases a wide audience.  I’ve heard it compared to Star Wars, and that seems to be a fair comparison.  The actual plot will slip past younger viewers, but the imagery and action will capture the imagination.

21 Jump Street/22 Jump Street
    This was a real surprise.  I liked these.  These were both fun watches, but I did prefer the second one, probably for the switch to focusing on “bro” humor.






WORST

    In looking over the list of movies, I noted two other movies that I considered to be really bad.  Butcher Boys and Raptor Ranch.
    I’ve decided to ignore those.  Those were low-budget movies that mostly accomplished what they intended to do.  Sure, they’re bad, but they don’t bother me.

     The Amazing Spider-Man 2 bothers me.  Now and then, I think I should go back and look at the first movie, hoping that it would improve.  I hoped that there could be some character development that happened in the second movie, justifying Peter Parker’s terrible character in the first movie.
    Instead, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is an over-stuffed water balloon filled with crap.  You cringe as you watch it.  With ever mis-step that the movie makes, you worry that this is just going to get all over everything.  And it does.
    There was no point at which I was enjoying this movie.  Every little cameo, every little piece of setup information they dropped in, hoping to develop future movies… all of it was annoying, not pleasant fan service.  Felicia Hardy?  That’s nice, but you changed everything about her.  Dr. Kafka?  That’s nice, but you changed the character for no discernible reason.  Showing all of the equipment - the vulture wings, the octopus arms - just played like an obvious setup.  It didn’t serve this movie at all.
    I’ve already complained about their absolutely terrible treatment of Peter Parker.

    The worst thing about this movie and the first one is that it actually reduces my fandom of the character.  Spider-Man has normally been my favorite comic book character, and now I find myself reading Captain America more.  I’ve picked up Iron Man comics, Avengers comics.  I still read Spider-Man, but nowhere near as much.  I’m not excited for another Spider-Man movie.  However, I’m more excited to see Doctor Strange, Ant-Man, and especially the Infinity War movies.  Spider-Man movies?  I think I’m on a negative-excitement level.  I’d rather that they not be created at all.  I would actually avoid watching them.